Masking and Camouflaging—The Hidden Struggle

“You Don’t Seem Autistic”

This phrase can sting. Many autistic adults hear this after years of hiding or suppressing their natural behaviors in order to fit in — a phenomenon known as masking.

What Is Masking?

Masking (or camouflaging) refers to conscious or unconscious efforts to hide autistic traits. This might include:

• Forcing eye contact

• Memorizing scripts for social interactions

• Mimicking facial expressions or tone of voice

• Suppressing stimming (repetitive movements that help self-regulate)

• Constantly analyzing others’ behavior to avoid saying the “wrong” thing

The goal isn’t deception — it’s safety and belonging.

According to Hull et al. (2017), masking is common among autistic adults, especially women and marginalized individuals. Many report that they didn’t even realize they were doing it until later in life.

The Emotional and Mental Toll

While masking can help someone navigate work or social situations, it often leads to:

• Chronic exhaustion

• Burnout

• Anxiety and depression

• Identity confusion (“Who am I really, if I’ve been performing my whole life?”)

Therapists working with late-diagnosed adults often hear phrases like:

~ “I’ve spent my life trying to be what everyone needed me to be.”

~ “I’m terrified of people finding out how much I struggle.”

Unmasking — the process of reconnecting with your natural self — is often slow and vulnerable, but deeply liberating.

You Don’t Have to Keep Hiding

Learning to unmask safely can involve:

• Connecting with neurodivergent-affirming communities

• Reducing social environments that require constant performance

• Reclaiming stimming, comfort clothing, or speech patterns

• Working with a therapist who validates neurodiversity

You deserve to be seen and supported as your whole self, not just the version of you that others find most palatable.

If this sounds like you and you're curious about autism, learn more about our virtual evaluation services here.